Dating and a life of virtue do not exactly go hand in hand.
From the girl’s point of view the story often goes a little like this: You meet a guy and he’s nice. He’s handsome and charming. You agree to go out for coffee or dinner. But you know that things could all go south really soon.
You enjoy a nice meal and friendly banter, but, in the interests of being open and transparent, you drop a bombshell along with dessert:
“I’m really striving to live my best life, one of virtue.”
Suddenly your date can’t wait to get away from you and he’s calling for the waiter to bring over your bill. It’s as though you’ve told him that you’re a stalker or have just been released from prison for armed robbery.
He can’t get away fast enough.
Let me just say this: guys, you’re making the wrong call.
No, I am not a jilted single woman with an axe to grind. I’m a happily married wife and mother and I’m about to outline the reasons why you want, dare I say need, to reconsider your position on this and really think about giving that girl more of your time.
If a girl tells you she’s striving to live a life of virtue this tells you:
She’s faithful – yes, that’s right. She’s not going to cheat on you with your best friend or an ex flame she happened to run into at the pub. How do I know this? Because she’s already being faithful to her future spouse and she may not have even met him yet. She knows that relationships take time, effort and trust.
She’s modest – she’s not going to go around flaunting her body in provocative clothing and flirting with every guy she sees. She recognises the inherent beauty and dignity of herself as a woman and will act every bit the classy lady. Because she is one.
She’s your friend – because her focus is on an intentional relationship, she will get to know you, the real you in order to discern if you’re the one for her. She will take a genuine interest in you, your hobbies and will attempt to establish real and authentic relationships with your friends and family rather than trying to keep you all to herself.
She’s humble – because she is trying to live a life of virtue, she knows that she’s not perfect. She understands that she will need to put time and effort into becoming her best self; that it will be a struggle at times, and she’ll make mistakes along the way. But she’s willing to pick herself back up, make amends, and continue striving.
She’ll support you – she’s a girl with authentic values and will gladly make sacrifices to support you steadfastly in your career and life choices. She’ll be your rock, your comfort and your helpmeet.
She’ll convert you – so maybe you can’t currently see the relevance of virtue in our contemporary society but she’ll show you not only its relevance but its importance too.
She’ll help unleash your unique potential – she’ll help you realise your self worth and unlimited unique potential. She’ll extend the same help and determination to help you become the person you were created to be. Because, behind every great man is an even greater woman.
So maybe, just maybe, you should hold off on asking for the bill and get to know that virtuous girl a little better.
Emily Shaw
Emily is a former ACPA award winning magazine editor. Emily shares 15 years of marriage with her husband, Ben, and is now stay at home mum of seven and freelance journalist. Emily’s work has been featured in a variety of media internationally, writing on all things faith, parenting and craft. She brings close to 20 years of experience in media — print, online and social — as well as several years in active youth ministry including three years as the Diocesan Coordinator.