This blog is an article for the Together Paper of Wagga Wagga Diocese November Edition.
The reality is that if we’re in a community it’s going to be imperfect, just as we’re imperfect.
We’re all familiar with the old adage that no man is an island. We are built for community, for
connection. We are not built for isolation, or to live parallel lives with those around us.
It is interesting then, that one of the common criticisms levelled at Catholic communities is
often that we are not welcoming. That we are not welcoming of the new, the other, the
prodigals.
It is a hard criticism to hear when we’re all more than aware that Jesus Christ has called us
to more.
It poses a good question though. What are our some of our road blocks to community? To
connection?
One, is fear.
It’s the fear of attending a local mother’s group and being judged for your parenting choices;
the fear of showing your real self to others around you in case they don’t like you. It’s the
fear of getting stuck talking to that parishioner you have little in common with; the fear of
others discovering that you’re not perfect. Spoiler alert: they already know that.
But it can also be simply the annoyance of encountering personalities that irritate us; a
reluctance to put in the effort to get to know our neighbours or fellow parishioners because
we’ve had negative experiences in the past; it could simply be that our parish or community
does not yet host regular opportunities to get to know others and establish new connections.
Create connection
In order to build community, we have to be willing to fail. To try to establish connections with
others, to find common ground, we must be willing to be vulnerable. Not all at once, but little
by little and step by step.
We need to be patient and welcoming, to bear others burdens (cf. Saint Paul) even if that
means simply listening to that neighbour who likes a good long chat; laughing with good
humour at the oft repeated jokes that your goofy uncle whips out at Christmas every year.
These, I would argue, are indispensable pillars for community:
- It is welcoming and hospitable. It must open to everyone, thus avoiding any cliques,
ostracism or elitism. We all have a need to belong, without arbitrary conditions placed on our
belonging. - It is patient and understanding. Whilst there must be common ground, a community must
allow space and accommodation for differences. We are all unique and our circumstances
are different. - It is supportive, practically and spiritually and emotionally. When the challenges of life hit
we need to be able to fall back on our community for help and support. It is often in the midst
of the storms of life that we are able to recognise, and be thankful for, the generosity and
assistance of those around us. - It is nurturing and encouraging of our personal growth and the growth of the community. A
good community should help us to flourish, it is invested both in the present and in the
future, and never at the expense of an individual or group. - And, finally, 5. It provides a safe place for ideas and rational debates, for conversations that
explore different facets of our life and interests, with the freedom to come to your own
opinions and conclusions, and be respected rather than criticised or punished for different
conclusions, particularly if they are not in opposition to God’s ways.
Written by Emily Shaw
VM Writer and Graphic Designer.
Wife of one, mother of 8. Tackling growth in virtue one (baby) step at a time.