Timestamps:
00:00 – 01:14 = Introduction – What Is Forgiveness?
01:15 – 03:19 = Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Apologizing or Forgetting
03:20 – 06:15 = Memory and Wisdom – Forgiveness Without Forgetting
06:16 – 08:20 = Minimizing vs. Maximizing Hurt and Resentment
08:21 – 11:00 = Anger and the Emotional Depth of Hurt
11:01 – 13:00 = The Importance of Naming the Injury Before Forgiving
13:01 – 15:00 = Why Some People Rush Forgiveness or Avoid Naming the Debt
15:01 – 17:00 = Starting Where You Are: Asking for the Grace to Desire Forgiveness
17:01 – 18:30 = Realistic Prayers and Honest Conversations with God
18:31 – 21:00 = The Story of Maria Goretti – Radical Forgiveness
21:01 – 23:40 = Alessandro’s Conversion and Forgiveness from Maria’s Mother
23:41 – 25:45 = Can Even Great Sinners Become Saints?
25:46 – 28:00 = Shame, Identity, and How the World vs. Christianity Responds
28:01 – 29:15 = The Catechism on Forgiveness – CCC 2843
29:16 – 30:40 = Healing Doesn’t Always Mean Reconnection
30:41 – 31:25 = Truth, Beauty, and Goodness Segment – Padre’s Book & Stina’s Team
31:26 – 31:59 = Closing and Blessing
Episode Summary:
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or excusing harm—it’s about freedom. In this episode of Living Fullness, Stina and Padre dive into what true forgiveness looks like, why it’s essential to the Christian life, and how it differs from reconciliation. They explore the common misconceptions that forgiveness means minimizing hurt or restoring broken trust instantly. Drawing on powerful examples like St. Maria Goretti and reflections from the Catechism, they guide listeners through the interior work of forgiving others and how it transforms both the offended and the offender.
Key Discussion Points:
- Definition of Forgiveness: Stina and Padre define forgiveness as the release of a debt—letting go of the desire for retribution without minimizing the hurt. It’s about no longer wishing ill on someone who has wronged us.
- Common Misconceptions: Stina explains that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting the harm or foolishly setting oneself up to be hurt again. Padre emphasizes that withholding forgiveness as punishment teaches neither love nor justice.
- Teaching Through Love, Not Harm: Stina compares withholding forgiveness to a parent withdrawing love from a child—it only fosters fear, not authentic relationship. Instead, we’re called to love and set boundaries where needed.
- Injury-Specific Forgiveness: Stina reflects on Fr John Burns’ work on Forgiveness and how it is ‘tied to understanding the specific injury caused’. We can’t release a debt we haven’t fully named, and digging too deep without resolution can lead to unhealthy rumination.
- Struggle with Anger & Rumination: Padre shares his personal experience with anger and how revisiting past wrongs repeatedly doesn’t heal but instead stokes the injury. Letting go is key to moving forward.
- Saint Maria Goretti’s Example: Stina recounts the powerful story of Maria Goretti, who forgave her attacker even as she lay dying—a radical witness to Christ-like forgiveness that challenges modern notions of justice.
- Forgiveness vs Reconciliation: Stina and Padre clarify that reconciliation is not essential for forgiveness. Forgiveness can happen without rebuilding trust, though God desires reconciliation and offers it freely to us.
- Catechism Wisdom: Padre highlights CCC 2843, showing that forgiveness is a supernatural act made possible through the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness transforms injury into compassion, even if human memory retains the hurt.
Reflective Questions:
- Is there a person or situation where I’ve withheld forgiveness out of a desire to teach a lesson?
- How do I differentiate between forgiving someone and reconciling with them?
- Am I stuck in rumination, replaying a hurt without moving toward resolution?
- Have I invited the Holy Spirit to transform my injury into compassion and intercession?
Practical Suggestions for Growth:
- Name the Injury: Spend time identifying the specific hurt caused, and consciously release the debt.
- Pray for the Offender: Ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray for the person who hurt you, even if feelings don’t yet align.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: Recognize that forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing harmful behavior to continue—practice healthy distance where needed.
- Reflect on CCC 2843: Meditate on how forgiveness purifies memory and transforms hurt into intercession.
Truth, Beauty & Goodness
Padre – Resource – Cardinal Sarah – At the Service of the Truth: Priesthood and Ascetic life
Stina – Prayer Coordinator
If you enjoy our Show Notes, you can listen to our Living Fullness Podcast on Spotify, Apple podcasts, directly from our website or watch our guest interviews on YouTube! Also check out our social media pages Living Fullness Podcast on Instagram , the closed Facebook group for links and discussions, and Virtue Ministry on Facebook and Instagram.