The Lessons I Learnt From My Wedding Day – Part 2

My whirlwind, lock-down, unconventional, livestreamed wedding day (which I wrote about in a
previous blog post “Our Wedding Story”) taught me many things. We faced
many challenges which I now look back on and realise that God provided us with thorough, useful
marriage preparation. He used each challenge as a means for us to grow as a couple and develop a
particular skill that we would need in our marriage.

Lesson 1: God works all things together for good

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to
his purpose – Rom 8: 28

With so many changes in our plans, we needed to learn to be flexible. As our story unfolded, we
needed to gradually loosen our grip on the plans we had made ourselves. We thought our original
plans were fairly God-centred – we thought we had put plenty of prayer into it all – but even so we
are always called to surrender everything to God and be open to the possibility of our plans being
uprooted.

Being flexible in our marriage helps us better face the unexpected. And marriage is certainly full of
the unexpected: illness, extended family dynamics, surprise habits of the other person that you
discover after living together, job offers, babies…and the list goes on. Holding onto our plans, and
ideas about how things should be, with a loosened grip gives us space for grace and humour. When I
am not fixated on having things go the way I think they should go, I find am able to give my husband
grace and allow space for the grace of God to work, as well as being more likely to laugh about
things and enjoy the new way things have turned out.

Every time we had to change our wedding plans, we needed to think about how others would be
affected (E.g., family from interstate who would no longer be able to attend due to border
restrictions and have to cancel their flights and accommodations – would they be able to get a
refund?) and work out ways to be as courteous as possible (E.g. ensuring we kept our guests in the
loop and gave as much notice as possible). We got plenty of practice in considering the needs of
others which is probably the number one skill needed for a healthy marriage! Through all of the
negotiations we needed to make, we had to communicate openly with each other and practice joint
decision making – more skills which have come in handy in our marriage.

God has shown me that every challenge, change in plans or unexpected event can be an opportunity
to, with His help, mature in the way we relate to and love each other. He does work all things,
however inconvenient or hard, together for good.

Lesson 2: God’s timing is perfect

The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps – Prov 16: 9

Having our wedding postponed by factors outside of our control (It would have been illegal for us to
be married on the date with originally chose – how crazy does that sound!) has taught me to trust in
God’s timing. For no matter how much careful planning and prayer we can put into something, His
timeline is ultimately best. This is something I wish that I had believed more deeply during my single
years! And, it’s something I want to try and remember in my current season of life, especially in
relation to living out my marriage. As our family grows, the timelines that we set for ourselves get
more and more interrupted, and this is not a bad thing at all. Life is full of things we want now but
need to wait for (a bigger house, a baby to arrive by its due date, our parish ministry program to
commence…), and the waiting period can be a joyful, fruitful time if only we give God permission to
use it.

When I look at the date engraved on my wedding band I smile and know that we weren’t married
until 6 days later. I smile as I remember the excitement of throwing together a micro wedding; the
showers of kindness we received from countless family and friends who were praying for us, blessing
us, thinking of us and offering to help us during that time; and the 6 extra days I got to spend as an
engaged woman filled with anticipation. 6 extra days to pray and grow in trust in the Lord. 6 days
that perhaps God knew I needed. It wasn’t the timing that we had planned, but I trust it was God’s
better plan. He blessed those 6 days of waiting.
The lyrics of a song I like go “God does more in our waiting than in our doing.” I hope that in my
marriage I can enjoy & embrace the season and circumstances we are in presently, without being
preoccupied by the “next thing” or what I myself planned to be doing now, trusting that God is
taking care of the timing of all things.

Written by Grace Morey

Grace is originally from Barooga, NSW, and after a transformative experience at World Youth Day in her teens she decided to place her faith at the centre of her life. She has been active in youth and womens’ ministry in a variety of parishes and universities since. She studied Medicine in Sydney and is now a qualified general practitioner. Over the years she has moved around a lot (having a total of over 20 different housemates, she thinks!) and now lives in Albury, NSW, with her husband, Sam, and daughter, Evangeline.