Timestamps:
0:00 – 1:49
1:50 – 4:26 = Topic Introduction and Context (Expectation Management in Relationships)
4:27 – 10:24 = Healthy Romantic Relationships
10:25 – 15:05 = Communication in Relationships
15:06 – 23:21 = Managing the Expectations
23:22 – 25:50 = Truth Beauty and Goodness
25:51 – 26:10 = Closing
As much as we’d like to think we have no expectations when we enter into a relationship, that’s simply not true, for all relationships romantic, friends and more.
We all walk into relationships with certain ideas about how a relationship ought to look or ought not to look, and about the ways in which we communicate needs to one another, romantic/friend relationships.
What are the common friction points in expectations?
- Expectations we have because of the example that has been set for us (by our parents, society, movies, others, etc) …. Using emojis vs. NOT using emojis!
- Roles and responsibilities of each individual / gender roles Eg. When there’s no appropriate reflection on gender roles in romantic relationships. It’s fine to have them, but having a reflection on them, as to why and ‘who does what’ best.
- Friction can arise where an expectation is assumed because of common values (we don’t think we need to talk about something because we assume the other person is on the same page)
Expectations and Boundaries
How do we manage these?
- Reflecting on ourself about what our expectations are and WHY they are important allows us to be able to express ourself when explaining it to another.
- Deciding which battles we want to pick
- Accepting having a ‘good enough relationship’ – keep high standards for being treated well, with respect, but don’t tolerate abuse, and neglect, but also don’t expect perfection or a relationship with no conflict – have realistic expectations! AND Look at conflict as interesting, someone bringing something new to you.
A relationship is a great thing!
- Means you enjoy spending time with them
- Try to honour each other’s dreams, and share in dreams.
- Trust each other.
- Manage conflict constructively.
- Mutual understanding and compromises that work for both.
- repair effectively when hurt.
- IMPORTANT Both have trust and commitment in the relationship.
TBG
Elise – a winter sunrise
Stina – Mental Health campaign – humbling
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